Once I was in the park and a homeless guy came up to me to ask for some spare change. Admittedly, I don't usually give away spare change. You never know when a single penny will come in handy and besides, giving two pence always seems like an insult anyway. This time however, I actually didn't have any change to give, I'd paid for my lunch with a credit card. I told him so. And in response he asked me whether I was expecting a boy or a girl. The scabby-faced scuzzball thought I was pregnant. I AM NOT. I do not look pregnant. I hope he felt sufficiently bad when I told him to "Bloody well piss the rubber-duck off." No reason is ever good enough to make a girl fear she's fat.
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